Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teenage Drinking

Are you concerned about your teen or tween drinking? Do you smell alcohol on their breathe? Maybe they experimented for the first time - maybe they will get really sick and promise never again. Or maybe they really enjoyed it! Parents need to step up and educate their pre-teens and teens of the dangers of alcoholism, especially if there is a family member that suffers from this. Many believe this is a genetic disease, but I encourage all parents to whether this runs in the family or not, to be aware of this peer pressure. Much of this substance abuse can be started by peer pressure - a desire to fit in. To be cool. Well, be a cool parent and learn about this and talk to your kids about it before it becomes a problem.

Source: We Don’t Serve Teens

Teens Don’t Just Drink. They Drink to Excess.

More than 10 percent of eighth graders, 22 percent of sophomores, and 26 percent of seniors report recent binge drinking (5+ drinks on the same occasion).

Statistics show that the majority of current teen drinkers got drunk in the previous month. That includes 54 percent of the high school sophomores who drink and 65 percent of the high school seniors who drink.

Sue Scheff: Teen Cigarette Smoking

Many parents call me about their teens and sometimes tweens that are lighting up. We like to say pick and choose issues, and we don’t condone smoking cigarettes - but we can’t panic. Let’s continue talking to our kid about how damaging smoking cigarettes is to your body as well as your overall health. Smoking is not cool - but it is cool to be an educated parent.

By Jessica Stevenson, About.com

Most people who smoke first light up a cigarette when they’re teenagers. In fact, 80% of smokers began the habit before they turned 18. Here are a few quick facts about cigarette smoking, nicotine and tobacco that you may not have heard before. Even if you have, they’re facts that are worth keeping in mind when your friends and relatives light up a cigarette.

Nearly 70% of people who smoke say they wish they could quit.
Teens who smoke cough and wheeze three times more than teens who don’t smoke.
Smoking causes cancer, heart disease, lung disease and strokes.
Smokers as young as 18 years old have shown evidence of developing heart disease.
More than 70% of young people who smoke said they wish they hadn’t started doing it.
Smoking a pack of cigarettes each day costs about $1,500 per year — enough money to buy a new computer or Xbox.
Studies show that 43% of people who smoke three or fewer cigarettes a day become addicted to nicotine.
More than 434,000 Americans die each year from smoking-related diseases.
One-third of all new smokers will eventually die from a smoking-related disease.
Nicotine — one of the main ingredients in cigarettes — is a poison.
Nicotine is as addictive as heroin and cocaine.
All tobacco products — that includes cigarettes, cigars and chewing tobacco — have nicotine in them.
Smoking makes you feel weaker and more tired because it prevents oxygen from reaching your heart.
Smoking decreases your sense of taste and smell, making you enjoy things like flowers and ice cream a little bit less.
Smoking hurts the people around you: More than 53,000 people die each year from secondhand smoke.
Cigarettes have tons of harmful chemicals in them, including ammonia (found in toilet cleaner), carbon monoxide (found in car exhaust) and arsenic (found in rat poison).
Quitting smoking is one of the best things you can do for your health.
Just days after quitting smoking, a person’s sense of taste and smell returns to normal.
Ten years after quiting smoking, a person’s risk of lung cancer and heart disease returns to that of a non-smoker.
Most teens (about 70%) don’t smoke. Plus, if you make it through your teen years without becoming a smoker, chances are you’ll never become a smoker.


Adapted from “50 Things You Should Know About Tobacco” by Journeyworks Publishing.

Sue Scheff - Teen Truancy

As second semester is open, the phones are ringing and the parents have a common thread, their teens are not going to school! Skipping classes and already talking about dropping out.

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate “excused” absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school’s handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student’s education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent’s self-esteem.

Read the causes here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Inflated Self Esteem with Teens

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just be happy about yourself, feel confident in what you can do.”

– Tyler, age 17

Self-esteem is important. “Well of course!” agrees 16-year-old Annie.

“The lower self-esteem you have the more people can pick on you, the more people can mess around and make jokes about you, that’s just how it is nowadays,” explains 17-year-old Tyler.

Researchers from San Diego State University studied annual surveys given to high school seniors since 1975. They found that self-esteem among teens is at its highest level ever.

One example: 65 percent felt confident that they would be successful at their job, compared to just 49 percent back in 1975.

Experts point to the trend in the late 70s, where parents and teachers used praise to boost self-esteem … sometimes instead of kids actually earning praise and recognition.

“To feel good about ourselves, we need things to feel good about,” says Dr. Frank Phajares, Clinical Psychologist. “We need accomplishments, we need mastery experiences, we need real competencies. And when we succeed, that’s when we feel good about ourselves.”

Studies show that earned self-esteem is powerful: kids tend to perform better when they feel good about themselves and are better able to get through disappointments and difficulties in life.

But, experts warn, praise without accomplishment is risky.

“If we just focus on making kids feel good and liking themselves, then I think we are missing the boat and I think we are raising little tyrants who are self-centered, selfish and could disregard other people.”

Tips for Parents

A general increase in the self-esteem of American children is good news, right? Researchers at San Diego State University aren’t so sure. Their study of adolescents and college students from the 1970s to 2000s does show an overall increase in self-esteem, but suggests that the increase is not due to improvements in children’s behavior. Instead, the increase could be the result of educators and parents urging children to feel better about themselves. “The larger social environment is affecting self-esteem, rather than vice versa,” the study’s authors conclude. “The culture we create has an impact on our children’s feelings about themselves.”

Why is self-esteem important in children? According to the National Network for Child Care (NNCC), how children feel about themselves affects the way they act. Most of the time, children with high self-esteem will:

Make friends easily.
Show enthusiasm for new activities.
Be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules.
Control their behavior.
Play by themselves and with other children.
Like to be creative and have their own ideas.
Be happy, full of energy, and talk to others without much encouragement.
What can you do to help children build high self-esteem? The NNCC offers the following suggestions:

Praise each child's successes (even very small ones). Praise each child who tries hard.
Give sincere affection. Let children know that they are loved and wanted.
Show interest in each child's activities, projects, or problems.
Tell children what to do instead of what not to do. This prepares them for what to do.
Instead of: "Don't throw the ball," say: "Roll the ball on the floor." Instead of: "Don't squeeze the kitten," say: "Hold the kitten gently."
Let children know that mistakes are a natural part of growing up. Everyone (including adults) makes mistakes.
Try to ignore temper tantrums and other negative behavior as much as possible.
Show appreciation when children cooperate, help you, say kind things to other children, obey the rules, and do other positive things.
Remember that learning new skills takes time and practice. Children do not learn new skills all at once.
Respond affectionately when children behave well. Tell children what you like about their behavior.
Let children know that you believe in them and expect them to do well.

References
Personality and Social Psychology Review
National Network for Child Care

Sue Scheff Parenting Teens, Diets, Behaviors and DX's

Source: Author Jane Hersey (Why My Child Can’t Behave)

A Message to Our New Leaders

It’s human nature to believe that huge problems need huge,expensive remedies, but that is often not the case.Many of the domestic problems facing Americans today havesurprisingly simple, inexpensive, and effective solutions.The cost of healthcare, for example, is enormous -not only in terms of money, but also in terms ofhuman suffering.Below is a discussion of some inexpensive and simple solutions.

Depression - What is the cost to an individual and to society? Before it was replaced with the inexpensive generic versions, Prozac typically sold for $247.47 for a bottle of 100. But according to the U.S. Department of Commerce the actual cost of the ingredients used to make it was 11 cents. This translates to a mark-up of 249,973%. (It also helps explain why Big Pharma can afford to pay for three lobbyists for every lawmaker in Washington, DC.)Contrast the cost of Prozac to a bottle of 100 gelcaps of 2000 mg of vitamin D3, which is an effective treatment for depression. The bottle of vitamins is available for a fraction of that cost, around $7.47. This is $240.00 less than the Prozac. Or compare a bottle of cod liver oil or other omega-3 source, also shown to be an effective treatment for depression. Again, the cost difference is astonishing.That same inexpensive vitamin, D3, has been found to help protect us against a remarkable assortment of problems, including: asthma, skin disorders, autoimmune disorders, bone loss, muscle weakness (which can lead to falls in the elderly, and the many problems that follow), and cancer.

See The Vitamin D Council.Research shows that omega-3 essential fatty acids (EFAs) and St. John’s wort can also be used to treat moderate depression. And another inexpensive supplement, chromium picolinate, has been shown to be effective for the most common form of depression.

Offices and schools designed to provide natural sunlight have shown that productivity increases and illness is reduced because sunlight enables our bodies to create vitamin D3. The value of exposure to sunlight is another good reason for schools to be sure that recess is a part of the school day.Drugs and surgery are not always the solutions for our health issues; they are often an acknowledgement that current methods have failed.New research with animals suggests that the onset of Alzheimer’s disease can be delayed by giving patients vitamin B3. The emotional and monetary costs of addressing Alzheimer’s are staggering.

Vitamin B3 can also help patients with a history of heart disease, at a fraction of the cost of statin drugs, and without risky side effects. See Pure Facts, Nov. 2008.Of course, another way to increase the intake of important vitamins and minerals is to consume a healthier diet. A simple first step is removing the worst of the additives and gradually upgrading one’s food choices; the Feingold Association has been teaching people how to do this for more than three decades. Education - As with healthcare, the United States leads the world in spending, but trails in results. Most American communities devote the lion’s share of their tax revenue to schools, and for most schools, their largest budgetary item is special education. But some schools in the United States and Europe have shown that an effective way for a school to increase test scores and enhance learning, as well as improve behavior, is to reform their cafeteria.

New York City brought about a dramatic increase in test scores without constructing new buildings, hiring more teachers or reducing classroom size. They made some simple changes in the food served to the children. The savings in special education costs could reduce taxes as well as free up funds to build more schools, reduce class size, hire more teachers, pay them more, etc. In fact, schools can actually serve much healthier, tastier foods in their cafeterias for less than they are now spending. See http://www.school-lunch.org/.

Criminal behavior - Because the things we eat affect the way we behave, nutrition can play a key role in preventing antisocial behaviors and in rehabilitating offenders. Drs. Barbara Reed Stitt, Stephen Schoenthaler and Bernard Gesch have all shown how to do this. Simple changes in food and the addition of needed nutrients can help the “starving brains” of people whose antisocial behavior is the result of a diet filled with foodless food. ADHD, PDD, OCD, autism, seizures, asthma, ear infections, obesity, diabetes, as well as many other problems that afflict children today have a nutritional component.

Removing the worst of the chemicals in their food and adding needed nutrients is a simple first step.New research shows that the very inexpensive vitamin D3 can provide significant benefits for children on the autism spectrum.

A growing number of parents and professionals have already found effective ways to help these issues. Our government does not need to throw money at these problems, but to take a look at the programs that are already working.We can bring change!Improve health care while spending less.Improve education while spending less.Improve social problems while spending less.The Feingold Program has often been called the country’s “best kept secret” by grateful families. Now you can help to see that it no longer remains a secret.

Some Resources:Feingold Association of the United States - non-profit support group established in 1976 addressing the dietary connection to better behavior, learning and health.

School-Lunch.org - improving behavior and learning by improving the school food program.

Crime Times publication - a quarterly publication of The Wacker Foundation concentrating on the links between brain dysfunction and disordered/ criminal/ psychopathic behavior.

HRI-Pfeiffer Treatment Center - a not-for-profit medical research and treatment facility specializing in research and treatment of biochemical imbalances.Autism Research Institute

Developmental Delay Resources - a resource network integrating conventional and alternative approaches for parents and professionals who support children with special needs.Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) Foundation

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens

As a parent advocate, I have been hearing from parents weekly that are at their wit's end. After going through a very difficult time with my daughter, I know how it feels to be helpless and not know where to turn.

That is why I created Parents Universal Resource Experts - to help educate parents today's teens and finding healthy resources for them.Learn from my mistakes - gain from my knowledge.

You don't have to make the same falls I did, watch for the warning signs, prepare yourself with information to help you when you are at your wit's end.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Difficult Teens

It stems back to “children need to have their self-esteem built up to make good decisions.” Today most families are either single parent or both parents are working full time. This is not the fault of the teen, nor is it the fault of the parents. It is today’s world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, peer pressure, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today.Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems. Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today’s life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids.

Talk and LISTEN to them. Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard time, even if you can’t understand it; be there for them.This all sounds so easy and so simple, but take it from parents that have walked this path, it is not easy. When a parent works a full day, has stress from the job along with household chores, not to mention the bills, it is hard to find that moment. We are all guilty of neglect at one time or another after all, we are only human and can only do so much. We feel the exhaustion mounting watching our teens grow more out of control, yet we are too tired to address it.

Out of control teens can completely disrupt a family and cause marriages to break up as well as emotional breakdowns.We know many feel it is just a stage, and with some, it may be. However most times it does escalate to where we are today. Researching for help; Parents’ Universal Resource Experts is here for you, as we have been where you are today.

Do you have a difficult teen, struggling teen, defiant teen, out of control teen, rebellious teen, angry teen, depressed teen? Do you feel hopeless, at your wits end?

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/.