Sue Scheff: Teen Cigarette Smoking

Many parents call me about their teens and sometimes tweens that are lighting up. We like to say pick and choose issues, and we don’t condone smoking cigarettes - but we can’t panic. Let’s continue talking to our kid about how damaging smoking cigarettes is to your body as well as your overall health. Smoking is not cool - but it is cool to be an educated parent.

By Jessica Stevenson, About.com

Most people who smoke first light up a cigarette when they’re teenagers. In fact, 80% of smokers began the habit before they turned 18. Here are a few quick facts about cigarette smoking, nicotine and tobacco that you may not have heard before. Even if you have, they’re facts that are worth keeping in mind when your friends and relatives light up a cigarette.

Nearly 70% of people who smoke say they wish they could quit.
Teens who smoke cough and wheeze three times more than teens who don’t smoke.
Smoking causes cancer, heart disease, lung disease and strokes.
Smokers as young as 18 years old have shown evidence of developing heart disease.
More than 70% of young people who smoke said they wish they hadn’t started doing it.
Smoking a pack of cigarettes each day costs about $1,500 per year — enough money to buy a new computer or Xbox.
Studies show that 43% of people who smoke three or fewer cigarettes a day become addicted to nicotine.
More than 434,000 Americans die each year from smoking-related diseases.
One-third of all new smokers will eventually die from a smoking-related disease.
Nicotine — one of the main ingredients in cigarettes — is a poison.
Nicotine is as addictive as heroin and cocaine.
All tobacco products — that includes cigarettes, cigars and chewing tobacco — have nicotine in them.
Smoking makes you feel weaker and more tired because it prevents oxygen from reaching your heart.
Smoking decreases your sense of taste and smell, making you enjoy things like flowers and ice cream a little bit less.
Smoking hurts the people around you: More than 53,000 people die each year from secondhand smoke.
Cigarettes have tons of harmful chemicals in them, including ammonia (found in toilet cleaner), carbon monoxide (found in car exhaust) and arsenic (found in rat poison).
Quitting smoking is one of the best things you can do for your health.
Just days after quitting smoking, a person’s sense of taste and smell returns to normal.
Ten years after quiting smoking, a person’s risk of lung cancer and heart disease returns to that of a non-smoker.
Most teens (about 70%) don’t smoke. Plus, if you make it through your teen years without becoming a smoker, chances are you’ll never become a smoker.


Adapted from “50 Things You Should Know About Tobacco” by Journeyworks Publishing.

Sue Scheff - Teen Truancy

As second semester is open, the phones are ringing and the parents have a common thread, their teens are not going to school! Skipping classes and already talking about dropping out.

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate “excused” absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school’s handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student’s education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent’s self-esteem.

Read the causes here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Inflated Self Esteem with Teens

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just be happy about yourself, feel confident in what you can do.”

– Tyler, age 17

Self-esteem is important. “Well of course!” agrees 16-year-old Annie.

“The lower self-esteem you have the more people can pick on you, the more people can mess around and make jokes about you, that’s just how it is nowadays,” explains 17-year-old Tyler.

Researchers from San Diego State University studied annual surveys given to high school seniors since 1975. They found that self-esteem among teens is at its highest level ever.

One example: 65 percent felt confident that they would be successful at their job, compared to just 49 percent back in 1975.

Experts point to the trend in the late 70s, where parents and teachers used praise to boost self-esteem … sometimes instead of kids actually earning praise and recognition.

“To feel good about ourselves, we need things to feel good about,” says Dr. Frank Phajares, Clinical Psychologist. “We need accomplishments, we need mastery experiences, we need real competencies. And when we succeed, that’s when we feel good about ourselves.”

Studies show that earned self-esteem is powerful: kids tend to perform better when they feel good about themselves and are better able to get through disappointments and difficulties in life.

But, experts warn, praise without accomplishment is risky.

“If we just focus on making kids feel good and liking themselves, then I think we are missing the boat and I think we are raising little tyrants who are self-centered, selfish and could disregard other people.”

Tips for Parents

A general increase in the self-esteem of American children is good news, right? Researchers at San Diego State University aren’t so sure. Their study of adolescents and college students from the 1970s to 2000s does show an overall increase in self-esteem, but suggests that the increase is not due to improvements in children’s behavior. Instead, the increase could be the result of educators and parents urging children to feel better about themselves. “The larger social environment is affecting self-esteem, rather than vice versa,” the study’s authors conclude. “The culture we create has an impact on our children’s feelings about themselves.”

Why is self-esteem important in children? According to the National Network for Child Care (NNCC), how children feel about themselves affects the way they act. Most of the time, children with high self-esteem will:

Make friends easily.
Show enthusiasm for new activities.
Be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules.
Control their behavior.
Play by themselves and with other children.
Like to be creative and have their own ideas.
Be happy, full of energy, and talk to others without much encouragement.
What can you do to help children build high self-esteem? The NNCC offers the following suggestions:

Praise each child's successes (even very small ones). Praise each child who tries hard.
Give sincere affection. Let children know that they are loved and wanted.
Show interest in each child's activities, projects, or problems.
Tell children what to do instead of what not to do. This prepares them for what to do.
Instead of: "Don't throw the ball," say: "Roll the ball on the floor." Instead of: "Don't squeeze the kitten," say: "Hold the kitten gently."
Let children know that mistakes are a natural part of growing up. Everyone (including adults) makes mistakes.
Try to ignore temper tantrums and other negative behavior as much as possible.
Show appreciation when children cooperate, help you, say kind things to other children, obey the rules, and do other positive things.
Remember that learning new skills takes time and practice. Children do not learn new skills all at once.
Respond affectionately when children behave well. Tell children what you like about their behavior.
Let children know that you believe in them and expect them to do well.

References
Personality and Social Psychology Review
National Network for Child Care